What is it? It is a Squirrel Feeder.
Y’see, the idea is this: You fill the hollow unicorn head with peanuts in the shell, along with a shmear of peanut butter to make them stick inside. Then you suspend the unicorn head over a suitable platform, like this picnic bench, and wait for a squirrel to show up.
When it does, it sticks its head inside the hollow unicorn head to raid the peanuts, and VOILA! The hilarious appearance of a unicorn-headed squirrel. That is what happens according to the photo on the box. Three hours in, and we have yet to see a squirrel rise to the occasion. There are hundreds of squirrels in our neighborhood. Where are they now? Are they actually savvy to being suckered? Are we?? The photos on the box are without doubt photoshop fantasies. Even squirrels are not this dumb.
Now you may ask…
Who feeds squirrels?? They seem to get fat and reproduce freely year-round on their own.
Why a unicorn head? The line on the box explains: “Watch Squirrels Become Magical”. That’ll be the day.
Whose nutty idea is this anyway?
We surmise that some opportunistic soul (country of origin not identified on the box) came by a truckload of surplus plastic unicorn heads at a really great price and snapped them up. Turns out these plastic heads are: Too small for a person to wear. Too large and clunky for cat toys (and cats wouldn’t cooperate anyway.) Out of fashion as hobbyhorses. Insufficiently diverse to populate a mini-carousel. Must have been thousands of ideas floated.
Finally–the Unicorn Squirrel Feeder! Yes!! That’ll capture the imagination of online shoppers everywhere! Especially shoppers with a family history of squirrel jokes.
Frankly, I don’t see this silliness being topped for a long, long time to come. Even so, we are grateful these days for anything that makes us laugh. Thank you to the thoughtful giver, who obviously appreciates creative enterprise.
P. S. If and when we catch a squirrel in flagrante as a unicorn, we’ll try to get the picture.
Your having spent time creating this and more time writing about it, I declare that you’re at least an hour, maybe two, closer to your death. Nice work. And now I’m one minute closer to mine by taking time to comment.
ROFL!!!!!
I used to feed squirrels. I made a feeder by driving big nails through a board and then impaling ears of corn on them. I didn’t think of making a feeder out of a unicorn head, but I believe it will provide some entertainment for you after the squirrels get used to the look of it and start investigating the peanuts inside. That process may take a few days, but they will start coming around pretty soon. Be sure to share the pictures!
Would love to see a photo if this actually worked. Maybe another critter that’s a bit bigger like a raccoon or opossum. Raccoons are very curious and it seems like they’re up for anything. So they probably
wouldn’t be daunted by a unicorn. Maybe they would be intrigued. “Now this is someone I’ve never seen. Maybe he has food.”