The young adults who spoke at my church yesterday lifted my heart. About a dozen high school men and women–poised, articulate, and wise enough in their own experience to be deemed adults indeed–brought me a sense of hope and pleasure that pushed aside, for a time, the threatening cloud of dreadful headlines, the shaken confidence in our country and, for some, even in our faith.
One young woman in particular spoke about the challenges faced by girls of her generation, first referencing the recent roll-out of a dress code at her school. Among other things, she pointed out that most of the dress code related to the rules the GIRLS are required to observe. The general idea seemed to be that it is the fault of the GIRLS if the boys cannot control their eyes, hands, thoughts, and comments. Further, the speaker related an incident in which, during a sports event involving both boys and girls on a team, her strategy for success was summarily dismissed by the male cohort. (I thought, just wait until she finds herself in a committee meeting, a political contest, a board room. That’s when being invisible and unheard diminishes the chances of everybody winning on an even larger scale). Finally, the young woman expressed dismay that the definition of “feminism” had been reduced to “man-hating.”
How have things changed so little since I was in high school more than fifty years ago? The only comfort I could offer this young speaker, besides my wholehearted support for her courage and conviction, was the quote, from someone, that nothing worth doing can be accomplished in one lifetime. With hers added to mine…perhaps we women will move closer to equal humanity. Someday.
I wrote the poem below decades ago. I wanted to encourage a young woman I knew then to take charge of her own destiny. I hope she did. Meanwhile, I know that my voice and my choices have not been wasted. I hold out the strength of sisterhood to both my sisters and my brothers who understand and embrace the love of the Creator for everything and everyone that is. Equally. Infinitely.
ADVICE TO A YOUNGER WOMAN
We used to say when we’d been
loved and left again,
I think I’ll move to a different town
and start all over as a virgin.
Who knew how possible it was?
We misplaced the truth
and fixed our minds on facts
as women do
who think they can defend
themselves. Thus our war
begins. We drag up the past
and aim it at our own hearts.
We try to set down the future
like a map.
Safe, but hungry
we take refuge inside walls.
My young friend, you flash your eyes
like mirrors signalling distress.
Start over.
Imagine yourself courageous
at the gate of a different town,
prepared to live in that one place always
alone, without weapons, at peace.
You will become
that pure being about whom
the whole universe
revolves.
Barbara Loots
Published in Helicon Nine
Collected in Road Trip
Thank you, Barb, for this encouraging post. For decades, I’ve been distressed to see young women seemingly oblivious to the need for feminism or how bad it was for women looking for schools, housing, credit, careers, and respect so few years ago. I’m greatly encouraged by our youth’s recent activism and awareness that saying nothing and doing nothing keeps everything the same.
Thank you, Barbara.
I have had this poem up on my computer for a couple of days. Something new every time I read it.
One of the figures of speech I particularly like is — at the gate of a different town.
-mary
I love this blog and the poem. I remember when admitting you were a feminist was like admitting you just stole something from your neighbor. And, yes, most equated feminism with man-hating. This was 50 years ago. It’s discouraging to hear some things haven’t changed much but very encouraging that young woman are standing up to this kind of discrimination and getting involved in a very positive way in making the future of world better for us all.
Thank you so much, everybody! xoxo