I fell asleep last night composing my Stand-Up Comic routine regarding the panties on the patio. As we departed for a gathering last night at a local dive, Bill handed me a pair of rain-damp panties he had picked up on the sidewalk to the garage. Are these yours?

Ladies, has this ever happened to you? At night, getting ready for bed, you strip off whatever pants or jeans you’re wearing, along with the panties you had on, and drop them wherever. Next morning, in the dark, you put on a clean pair of panties, and then…the same pants you had on the day before. Sometime during the day, the used panties you left inside the pants work their way down the leg until, yes, they drop out the bottom wherever you happen to be.

Luckily in this case it was on our back patio. Could have been the grocery store. “Um…ma’am…are those yours?” pointing to the panties in the coffee aisle. Could have been at church. Usher hands note to pastor in the pulpit. “Would the person who dropped her panties in the narthex please claim them from the usher after the service.” Or in the art museum. “What do you think the artist is trying to tell us with this pair of real panties casually dropped on the floor?” The scenarios could be endlessly humiliating. Compromising. Hilarious!

Moral: Never leave your panties in your pants. Unless of course you are actually wearing them.

And that is your antidote to the dire headlines of the day.

Bob says,

You’re not really going to post that, are you?