Welcome to our table, Mr. Trump.  Please sit anywhere you like.

Where’s the guy with the money?  Julius Chariot.  Something like that. I’ll sit with him. 

That would be here at my right, Mr. Trump.

On the right.  That’s important.  Important people.  I’m very important.

Yes, Mr. Trump. Everyone at this table is important. I invited them.  In fact, everyone on earth is invited to sit at this table.

That reminds me.  Sorry I missed your picnic up there in Galilee. Had a big event myself that day.  Huge crowd. HUGE.  They wanted me to be king probably.  I’m more of an emperor.  There’s a lot of people, many people, say I’ve done my share of work with a shovel. You know, ground-breakings all over the place. Thinking of building a dam across that little river. The Jordan.  Build a big resort.  Wall all around it. Golf courses. What’s your handicap, Jeez?  Okay if I call you Jeez now that we’re friends?  How about Jeez Louise?   Jeez Louise.  That’s good. People will remember that.

It doesn’t matter what you call me, Mr. Trump.  What matters is that I called you.

Called me?  Oh yeah. I remember now.  Follow me. You were fishing or something.  I had a meeting to go to that time. Tax collector.  Had to take care of business, you know?  Made a great deal.

Will you share some wine with us, Mr. Trump?

No. No.  I don’t drink.

Some bread, then?

Is it white bread? I only like white bread.

Well, we like to think of it as the bread of life.  Our common humanity, our spiritual unity.

Unity. Is that like Unitarian?  I know a Unitarian. And a Mormon.  Fine people. Not criminals from somewhere else. I hate criminals.  Lock them up. 

I see, Mr. Trump. Actually I’m more about opening a door to freedom for everyone.

Sure, Jeez.  But like they say, Freedom is not free.  Need more soldiers, bigger weapons.

Well, Mr. Trump, according to my plan, nation shall not lift up sword against nation nor ever again be trained for war.

I think I showed up at the wrong party, Jeez.  Can’t wait to hear the fake news about you.